How to Uncover Limiting Beliefs That Keep You Stuck

Executive Summary

Welcome back to The Kinetic Insight Newsletter—an advanced leadership course delivered straight to your inbox.

Today we’ll explore:

1. How limiting beliefs work

2. How to identify your own limiting beliefs that keep you stuck

What would you most enjoy learning about next? Hit reply and let me know, I read every message.

Thought Provoker / Re:Minder

What are limiting beliefs?

The problem with limiting beliefs is that they can be insidious—sneaky and subtle in a way that we’re not even aware of them. And even worse, they can occur to us as facts. Not just a belief that we hold, but an objective truth about reality.

As a constant reminder about Kinetic Insight, I encourage you to look inside yourself to find out where this might apply to your experience. You’ll get the most value out of this if you have a specific goal in mind that you’re currently working on.

It’s easy to think of this as a problem other people struggle with, but by nature of being human we all have limiting beliefs. As you read through, reflect on where this might show up for you.

Let’s start with a working definition: limiting beliefs are deeply ingrained assumptions that prevent you from taking aligned action towards your goals.

Some common limiting beliefs

• Fear of failure: if I mess up, everything will fall apart

• Imposter syndrome: I don’t know what I’m doing, and everyone’s gonna find out

• Perfectionism: I’m not good enough

• Fear of judgment: my team will lose faith in me if I make a mistake

These are very common and obvious examples, but there are smaller and subtler ways this shows up every day.

What’s the problem?

Because these beliefs operate at a subconscious level, beneath the surface of our awareness, we often don’t realize that they are what’s holding us back from achieving our goals. We’ll point fingers at other people or circumstances, which are easy to blame. But of course, since you can’t control them, you also lose power to change them.

How many times have you been frustrated at the lack of progress towards something important, wondering why your efforts haven’t been successful?

While it’s true that our actions determine our results, our beliefs are what determine our actions.

The impact of our beliefs

Our beliefs are like the air all around us that we don’t see. Or to continue the metaphor from the image, the water surrounding our iceberg of actions and results.

Beliefs are the context within which we decide which actions to take—and therefore which results we achieve.

If I believe myself to be comfortable with confrontation, I’m more likely to have that difficult conversation with my co-founder. If I believe that confrontation ruins trust in relationships, I’m more likely to hold it in and try to deal with it on my own.

Without placing a value judgment on either of these paths, it’s clear that our beliefs shape which actions we view as possible or helpful.

Limiting beliefs, are those beliefs that restrict our range of possible actions—and therefore limit what results we’re capable of achieving.

Not all limits are bad. Often having certain constraints can provide more focus and creativity. But they can also prevent us from seeing what else is possible.

• You might really want to work 20 hours a week—but have a belief that’s impossible. Or maybe a belief that you would be lazy if you worked less.
  

• You might want to 10x your income—but have a belief that it’s only possible to increase it 20% if you’re lucky. Or a belief that you’d be greedy if you wanted more money.

Think about your own goals and beliefs here, and without judgment, notice what you are limiting yourself from.

This doesn’t mean they’re fake

Of course, we construct our beliefs based on the results we see in the world.

Whether they’re more or less “true” is irrelevant to the fact they’re real in your experience.

If we’re surrounded by people who are working 60+ hour weeks and still living paycheck to paycheck, it makes sense we would believe that’s what’s possible—and maybe even that it’s objectively true.

Real doesn’t mean True

Just because these beliefs are real for you, even when based on evidence, it doesn’t mean that they’re the only possibility.

Because these beliefs often occur to us as objective truth, we don’t see how we’re complicit in limiting ourselves. It’s much easier and safer to think that the world is preventing you from having what you truly want. And while that may be true to an extent—it’s outside of your control.

In order to have any possibility of growing past your obstacles, it’s most useful to focus on how you are actively contributing to them.

As Kinetic Leaders, that’s where we prioritize our time and energy.

How we create beliefs

We tend to think that we look at the world, analyze what’s happening, and form our beliefs based on reality.

It’s important to notice that it works both ways.

Because our beliefs shape our actions, which influence our results, we end up seeing results that reconfirm our beliefs.

This can lead to either a virtuous, or vicious cycle.

✅ If your beliefs are supporting you to realize your full potential, you’re going to accelerate your progress.

❌ If your beliefs are limiting your potential, you’re going to decelerate your progress.

So what do we do about it? The most important part

Think back to your most important goal that you’re currently feeling stuck on.

Take a few minutes to deeply reflect on these questions 🧘 

• What feels impossible, that if it were possible, would change the game entirely?

• How are you contributing to the situation that’s keeping you stuck?

• What one action can you take, as an experiment, to test the limits of your current belief system?

It’s through this careful self-reflection and inquiry that you can begin to move from the philosophical understanding above, to a deeper realization of your own experience. That’s when the real magic happens.

If this feels overwhelming, don’t blame yourself. This is hard work to do on your own.

That’s why world-class CEO’s work with a coach to get an objective perspective and help them uncover their blindspots—that we inherently can’t see for ourselves. If you’d like some support with this, you can schedule a free coaching discovery session here. I’ll work with you as a partner to give you a simple path forward to making massive progress towards your goals.

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next time,

Kelby L. Kupersmid - Kinetic Leadership Coach

^{Connect with me on LinkedIn}

Coming Up Next Week…

What is a breakthrough? (and how you can create one)